I dunno if there exist a sado-masochistic spirit underscoring Korean gym activities but there are somethings I would like to bring into the light for those of you over in the western world. Let’s begin this story with my first gym experiences here in Korea. I have made it my goal that during my time here in Korea I want to get into the best shape of my life so instinctively I decided I should join a gym. So I set out to find a gym which sounds easy enough unless you cannot read the language like I still can’t so that presented challenges in locating a gym to join (most people I found didn’t understand working out but understood bodybuilding, tip for those looking for a gym). Anyways my first method of attack was aimlessly wandering the streets looking for a gym and I utterly failed at that. Next attempt was to ask locals or other foreigners that lived in this area and they all told me there was a decent priced very small gym close by, which resulted in my walking around aimlessly again. Finally I got the name of said gym, Rich’s, and discovered that I had walked by it half a dozen times without realizing it.

That day I joined Rich’s gym and came back the next day for some awkward gym experiences. For westerners remember there are lots of places in Korea where you don’t wear your street shoes (shoes you wear on the street are not allowed in some indoor spaces) well in this gym these types of spaces are not easy to identify. So I had an awkward time of figuring out where to take my outdoor shoes on and off, where to wear my gym shoes, and where I just don’t wear shoes. Anyways I go into the locker room to put on some supplied gym clothes and first thing that happens is I have about 5 or 6 naked middle aged Korean men starring at me as I enter and as I leave the locker room (I think it’s just because I am foreign). Then I get up to the gym and see some Korean workout rituals which some make sense but others baffle me.

1. A Hula Hoop is considered workout equipment here (they are weighted and all)
2. Remember those vibrating belt machines from the 50s in America? They are alive and well here in Korea.
3. Some people slap their chest and stomachs after workouts, maybe for increased blood flow?
4. Koreans, like everything else, are hardcore and thus workout crazy hardcore.

It was fun the for me the first day I walked into the gym and saw two middle aged men hula hooping, another guy slapping himself, and someone on a vibrating belt machine. Anyways I worked out and then as I was leaving the most confusing event occurred. I was yelled at by multiple different guys about lockers and shoes, all of which confused the hell out of me, so I just left. I was given some great advice by Martha which was “Do whatever feels comfortable to you and someone sooner or later will tell you if you’re doing something wrong.” Thanks Martha.

On to the Korean Sado-Masochism tendencies in working out. First off in America I tend to think of a couple of options if I want to burn some calories, the gym such as 24hour fitness or going outside and hiking a mountain or something. Well Korean’s decided to say Fuck that America and lay the proverbial smack down on American work out ethics. In an aforementioned story I hiked a mountain on my way back from Semyeon and I found it pretty taxing. Well on my way up this older Korean gentlemen was briskly going downhill (I thought at the time lucky gravity is on your side sir). As I almost am reaching the top of said mountain, that same Korean gentlemen passed me going uphill at speeds a billy goat would envy, which diminished my joy at conquering this mountain. If I thought this man passing me was demoralizing I was appalled whence I reached the top I discovered how hard the Korean’s were spanking American workout philosophies. See in America when I think of public gyms I think of convenient places such as muscle beach in Southern California, but again Koreans said screw that we are putting our public exercise equipment on top of a mother F-ing mountain! That’s right when I reached the top I found bench presses, pull up bars, sit up benches, and even weighted hula hoops. What’s worse is the hybrid Korean/Kryptonian billy goat was pumping iron like a crack addict running from the cops.

I do not know what possess these Koreans to go to such lengths but they definitely have some physical fortitude. No wonder why most Koreans seem to be in impecible shape.